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E10 E - Compare AI revision with human revision

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Einleitung

E10 E - Compare AI revision with human revision

Course idea: Compare a first draft with self-, peer-, teacher- and AI-supported revision. Decide, with evidence, which changes really improve meaning, register and language. No revision source is automatically better: every change must earn its place.

Media prompt: Identify two visible corrections. Are they mainly about meaning, register or surface accuracy?

Mini mission: You are the final editor. Keep the writer's intended meaning, make the text fit its audience, improve clear English and reject changes that invent facts or weaken the voice.

Privacy and fairness: Use only the fictional texts in this course. Keep your own original draft. Do not paste personal data, real applications or classmates' texts into external AI tools. External AI use is only an optional, teacher-approved activity. Recordings are voluntary and private; do not upload them without explicit permission.

I can goals

I can ...	Evidence
understand the main point of revision advice	short viewing notes
compare four kinds of revision	criterion-based change log
explain how a change affects meaning, register and language	evidence from exact wording
check AI suggestions for invented or unsupported details	source/check note
revise my own English text coherently and precisely	final version plus rationale
give useful feedback and respond to feedback	peer/teacher conference notes

The Baden-Württemberg E-level writing focus for English as a first foreign language includes structured and coherent writing, detailed argumentation, largely independent writing processes and independent use of digital tools for drafting and revision. Text and media competence also connects analysis with learners' own text production. Bildungsplan BW: Klasse 10 Schreiben Bildungsplan BW: Klasse 10 Text- und Medienkompetenz

Vorwissen aktivieren

Without translating everything, finish these three prompts in English:

Revision: A useful change is ...
Feedback: Good feedback should ...
AI support: I would double-check ...

Media prompt: Name one item your personal revision checklist must include before you accept a change.

Media starter: What counts as better writing?

Watch selected parts. First understand the main message, then respond. Do not try to catch every word.

Viewing task: Note one idea about audience, one about organisation and one about clarity. Then answer: Which advice helps you judge a revision, not just produce a first draft?

A useful principle from the video is to think about the reader and purpose, organise ideas clearly and remove wording that adds little. Apply the principle critically; not every short sentence is automatically better.

Core criteria: M-R-L + coherence

Criterion	Ask	Strong evidence
Meaning	Does the revised sentence still say what the writer intended?	No invented, missing or distorted detail
Register	Is the level of formality right for purpose and audience?	Tone fits a formal application without sounding unnatural
Language	Is the English accurate, precise and natural enough to understand easily?	Better grammar, word choice, spelling or punctuation
Coherence	Do the ideas connect logically?	Clear order, useful connectors, no repetition

Editor rule: Never accept a change only because it sounds more advanced. Prefer accurate, clear language that serves the purpose.

Media prompt: Clarity matters, but it is not enough. Which other criterion from M-R-L must you check?

Reading lab: one fictional application, four revision sources

All people and details below are fictional.

Situation: Maya Collins, 16, is applying for a one-week school work-experience placement at a youth radio station.

Original draft

Dear Sir or Madam,
I want to do work experience at your radio station because media is interesting for me. I make a school podcast and I speak English quite good. I am creative and can work in a team. I hope you answer soon.
Best wishes,
Maya Collins

Self-revision

Dear Sir or Madam,
I am applying for a one-week work-experience placement at your radio station because I am interested in media. I help to produce a school podcast and enjoy working creatively with others. I would be pleased to hear from you.
Best wishes,
Maya Collins

Peer revision

Hi,
I really want to work at your radio station because media is super interesting to me. I do a school podcast, I am creative and I am good in teams. Please reply soon.
Cheers,
Maya

Teacher revision

Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to apply for a one-week work-experience placement at your radio station. I help to produce a school podcast, which has strengthened my interest in media and teamwork. I would welcome the opportunity to learn more about radio production and look forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully,
Maya Collins

AI revision sample

Dear Sir or Madam,
I am delighted to submit my application for a prestigious placement at your radio station. With two years of broadcasting experience and advanced audio-editing skills, I believe I would make an exceptional contribution to your professional team. I eagerly await your favourable response.
Yours sincerely,
Maya Collins

Important: The AI sample is pre-generated for analysis. You do not need an external AI service.

Compare changes, not labels

Create a change log. For each version, choose two specific changes and judge them.

Change	Meaning	Register	Language / coherence	Keep, adapt or reject?	Evidence
e.g. I want to do → I am writing to apply for	meaning stays	more suitable	more precise	keep	states purpose directly

Challenge: The AI sample sounds polished, but it adds facts that are not in the original. A fluent sentence can still be a bad revision if it changes the writer's meaning or invents evidence.

Media prompt: Does an AI label tell you whether a change is good? Give one reason why the change itself still needs checking.

Listening and viewing: feedback that helps revision

Listening task: Write three rules for useful feedback. Then test one peer comment from your class against those rules. Keep the focus on the text, not the person.

Useful feedback is specific, actionable and linked to purpose. Compare: Nice text. → too general.
The opening is clear, but “Hi” is too informal for this application. Keep the direct opening and change the greeting. → specific and usable.

Automated feedback as a source to evaluate

The video demonstrates automated writing feedback. Your task is not to use the tool. Analyse the idea: What can automated feedback notice quickly? What still requires a writer to judge purpose, truthfulness, voice and context?

Source-criticism questions

Source criticism: Who created the feedback and for what purpose?
Evidence: Can the suggested change be justified from the text or another reliable source?
Writer control: Does the writer understand and accept the final wording?
Privacy: Is it appropriate to send this text to an external service?

Context vocabulary

Word / phrase	Working meaning in this course	Use it
revision	reworking a text to improve it	This revision keeps the main idea.
proofreading	checking surface errors such as spelling and punctuation	Proofreading alone does not fix weak meaning.
register	language choices that fit audience and situation	The greeting changes the register.
coherent	logically connected and easy to follow	The second paragraph is more coherent.
evidence	exact support for a judgement	My evidence is the phrase ...
reliable	trustworthy enough for the purpose	We need a reliable source for that claim.
invented detail	information added without support	Reject the invented detail.

Pronunciation and intelligibility

Say these course words in short phrases: revision, audience, evidence, coherent, reliable. Mark the stressed syllable in your notes, then read one comparison sentence aloud.

Goal: clear word stress, useful pauses and understandable speech. You do not need to imitate one accent. Verständlichkeit zählt mehr als Akzentfreiheit.

Optional recording: Make a private 20-second audio note, listen once and delete it if you want. No upload is required.

Speaking: defend one editing decision

In pairs, take different roles: writer and editor. The editor proposes one change; the writer may accept, adapt or reject it.

Use: I would keep this change because ...
I would reject it because it changes ...
This version is clearer, whereas ...
The wording may sound more formal, but ...
My evidence is ...

After two minutes, switch roles.

Writing: your final revision

Revise the fictional application into a final version of about 100–140 words. You may combine useful human and AI-sample changes, but you must not add unsupported experience.

Then write a short editor's note:

Meaning: one change that protects or clarifies the intended message
Register: one change that better fits a formal application
Language: one change that improves accuracy or precision
Coherence: one change that improves flow
Source check: one suggestion you rejected and why

Functional grammar for revision

Use grammar to make judgements precise, not artificially difficult.

Function	Useful language
compare	clearer than, more appropriate than, less precise than
contrast	while, whereas, however
cautious evaluation	may improve, might change, seems too formal
justify	because, therefore, which makes the purpose clearer

Micro-edit: Improve this sentence without changing its meaning: The AI version is better because it is more professional.
Possible direction: The AI version uses more formal vocabulary; however, one sentence invents experience, so that change should be rejected.

Mediation: purpose before word-for-word translation

Fictional school rule in German: „Nutze für Bewerbungen nur freigegebene digitale Werkzeuge. Teile keine persönlichen Daten oder echten Bewerbungsunterlagen mit externen Diensten. Prüfe automatisch erzeugte Angaben und behalte deine Originalfassung.“

Your English-speaking exchange partner asks what matters before using digital revision support. Mediate the key points in 2–3 natural English sentences. Do not translate every word; select what this person needs.

Help: two levels

Support A The change from ___ to ___ improves ___ because ___.
I would reject ___ because it adds/changes ___.
For this audience, ___ is more appropriate than ___.

Support B Although ___ sounds more fluent, it weakens/changes ___.
Compared with ___, this revision preserves ___ while improving ___.
The strongest evidence is ___, which shows ___.

Media prompt: What can a spell checker notice, and what can it not decide about audience or truth?

Feedback protocol

Use 2 + 1 + 1:

Two changes that clearly help the reader
One change to reconsider
One question about meaning or purpose
One final decision made by the writer

The writer remains responsible for the final text.

Fehleranalyse: surface error or meaning problem?

Example	Main issue	Best next step
I speak English quite good.	language	change the adverb and check natural phrasing
Hi in a formal application	register	choose a suitable greeting
two years of broadcasting experience	meaning / evidence	reject unless the original writer can verify it
repeated ideas in two sentences	coherence	combine or remove repetition
one spelling mistake	proofreading	correct it without rewriting the voice

Media prompt: Why is a before/after view useful when you need evidence for a revision decision?

Transfer: a new text, same method

Choose one short text type: a fictional formal email, a school-magazine comment or a fictional profile. Keep the content invented and non-identifying.

Apply the same cycle: understand → respond → analyse → communicate → feedback → revise → transfer

Your final question is always: Can I explain why each accepted change improves the text for this purpose and audience?

Can-do check

I can ...	Not yet	With support	Independently
identify meaning drift	□	□	□
judge register for a specific audience	□	□	□
explain a language improvement with evidence	□	□	□
question fluent but unsupported AI wording	□	□	□
revise my own text coherently	□	□	□
mediate key information for a target reader	□	□	□

Folgekurs

Continue with E10 E - Transfer revision strategies to formal writing: transfer the same criteria to a new genre and a less guided writing task.

Interaktive Aufgaben

Quiz: Teste Dein Wissen

Which question checks meaning most directly? (Does the revision keep the writer's intended message?) (!Does it use the longest words?) (!Does it sound like a native speaker?) (!Does it contain the most changes?)

Which change best improves register in a formal application? (Changing Hi to Dear Sir or Madam) (!Adding slang) (!Using more exclamation marks) (!Removing the greeting completely)

What should you do with an AI suggestion that invents experience? (Reject it unless the writer can verify the information) (!Keep it because it sounds professional) (!Keep it if the grammar is correct) (!Translate it into German first)

What makes feedback actionable? (It points to a specific change and explains what to do) (!It only says good job) (!It judges the writer's personality) (!It replaces the whole text without explanation)

Which sentence gives evidence for a revision judgement? (The phrase I am writing to apply states the purpose directly) (!This version is just better) (!AI is always more formal) (!Teachers are always correct)

What is proofreading mainly for? (Checking surface errors such as spelling and punctuation) (!Inventing stronger achievements) (!Changing the target audience) (!Replacing all short words)

Why should you keep the original draft? (To compare changes and retain writer control) (!To avoid reading the revision) (!To make the text longer) (!To hide feedback from others)

Which connector is useful for contrasting two revisions? (whereas) (!because of) (!firstly only) (!very)

What is the best privacy choice in this course? (Use fictional material and do not send personal data to external tools) (!Upload a real application for better feedback) (!Share a classmate's text without asking) (!Publish a private recording automatically)

What is the final writer responsible for? (Understanding and accepting the wording in the final text) (!Accepting every automated suggestion) (!Using the most advanced vocabulary possible) (!Making every sentence longer)

Memory

Meaning	Intended message
Register	Audience-fit
Proofreading	Surface errors
Coherence	Logical flow
Evidence	Exact support
Revision	Purposeful reworking

Drag and Drop

Ordne die richtigen Begriffe zu.	Thema
Meaning check	Invented detail
Register check	Formal greeting
Language check	Grammar and word choice
Coherence check	Logical connection
Source check	Verifiable claim

Kreuzworträtsel

Register	Which word describes language choice that fits audience and situation?
Meaning	What must a revision preserve if it is not supposed to change the writer's message?
Coherence	What term describes logical flow between ideas?
Feedback	What do readers give to help a writer improve a draft?
Audience	Who should a writer consider when choosing tone and detail?
Evidence	What should support a judgement about a specific revision?

LearningApps

Lückentext

Offene Aufgaben

Leicht

Change log: Mark five changes in the fictional versions and label each one meaning, register, language or coherence.
Register sort: Collect six phrases from the course and sort them into suitable for a formal application or too informal/over-formal; justify two choices.
Feedback upgrade: Turn three vague comments such as “good” or “weird” into specific, actionable feedback.
Read-aloud check: Read two comparison sentences aloud, focusing on stress and pauses; recording is optional and private.

Standard

Blind comparison: Remove the labels self, peer, teacher and AI from the four versions, compare the changes first, then reveal the source and discuss whether the label influenced your judgement.
Error audit: Find one strong change and one problematic change in each revision source and support every judgement with a quote.
Mediation card: Explain the fictional German school rule to an English-speaking exchange student in three natural sentences adapted to their needs.
Revision conference: In a group of three, take writer, peer editor and teacher-editor roles; the writer makes the final decision and records reasons.

Schwer

AI claim check: Design a four-step check for claims added by automated tools and apply it to the invented broadcasting experience.
Media advice comparison: Compare one piece of advice from the Oxford video with one idea from the Cambridge feedback video and test both on the fictional application.
Revision protocol: Create a one-page protocol that separates meaning revision, register revision, language editing and proofreading; test it on a new fictional text.
Independent transfer: Write a new fictional formal email, obtain two forms of human feedback, compare them with the pre-generated AI-style feedback pattern from this course and produce a final justified revision.

Lernkontrolle

Evidence-based comparison: You receive two anonymous revisions of the same paragraph. Decide which individual changes to keep, adapt or reject and justify each decision with M-R-L plus coherence.
Meaning drift: Explain how a grammatically correct revision can still be weaker when it adds, removes or changes information; demonstrate with one invented example.
Audience transfer: Rewrite one sentence for a friend and for a formal work-experience contact, then explain what changed in register and what stayed constant in meaning.
Source reliability: An automated revision adds a factual claim. Describe how you would verify it and what you would do if verification is impossible.
Feedback response: Evaluate a peer comment and a teacher comment that disagree; make your own revision decision instead of automatically following either source.
Purposeful mediation: Mediate a short privacy rule for an English-speaking visitor, selecting only information relevant to their intended use of a revision tool.

Lernnachweis

For a successful learning record, include:

the untouched original draft
a change log showing self-, peer-, teacher- and AI-style suggestions
a final revised text
evidence-based explanations for meaning, register, language and coherence
at least one rejected suggestion with a reason
a short source/reliability check for any added factual claim
a privacy note confirming that only fictional or non-identifying material was used
a completed Can-do check and one next-step goal

No external media, uploads or AI access are required for the Lernnachweis.

OERs zum Thema

Further free media used in this course come from Wikimedia Commons; the embedded learning videos are from established English-learning channels on YouTube.

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